July 26, 2012

  • Angry

    I rarely get angry.  My wife can attest to that.  I used to say that my dad had a hot temper and a short fuse while my mom had a long fuse and a medium temper.  I got both fuses and my mom's temper.  Luck of the draw I guess.

    So it takes an awful lot to get me out right angry.  Spending 2 months dealing with Itunes over stolen money from my account (on an issue they were well aware of and had not worked to fix.... the APP stealing the money had been doing so on random accounts for well over 2 years!!!!)  anyway.... spending 2 months getting iTunes to acknowledge the problem and return my stolen money made me angry in the end.... but it paid off in results.  (A) I got my money back, (B) I resolved never to use iTunes ever again, even if it was the last MP3 source on the planet.  

    For the record the APP is named "Kingdom Conquest" from the company named SEGA.  It's for the iPhone.... something I don't even own.  Here's a link to a new article about the problem and iTunes "Head-in-the-sand" approach to dealing with it.  "iTunes Hacked!  Apple ignores it."

    So trying vainly for 2 straight months to get Apple to acknowledge the $150 stolen from me.... yeah, that got me angry.  That was almost 9 months ago.  I've had no reason to be angry at anything other than my own sinfulness in all that time.

    Last night I got angry again.  Really angry.  Because of Windows 7.

    I had sat down last night to relax and play a video game I enjoy... it was about 11:30 and I knew we had about an hour before bedtime.  Before I booted up the game though, I kicked over to Xanga.... and in the space of a heartbeat I began typing out a post entitled "What's Wrong with American Christianity, Part 6: Myopic Exclusionist Christianity"

    I continued typing for nearly 4 hours.  It was finally finished, I went to hit "Save Changes" (which is a weird way to say "Publish" if you ask me....) and..... Windows picked just that second to reboot and update my OS.

    4 hours of typing.... lost in a second.

    You have to understand ---- we have 2 computers.  My wife's computer is online almost from morning til night.  She lives on Facebook... that's just her way.   My computer goes online.... once every 2-4 months?  I rarely find the need to actually use my computer when my wife's is already online.  Thus.... Windows almost never had opportunity to update and download patches.  It picked just that moment to do it... because I had actually been online for so long.

    I was so angry it was unbelievable (well, for me any way....).  I used my anger constructively and told Windows (when it finally rebooted) that I never wanted to download another patch or update as long as I live.... This computer will rust away to little metal particles before I allow Windows to hitch another free ride.

    But 4 hours lost... and the post I'd written had to be one of my best this year.  I can't reconstruct it.

    My writing process is odd.  I've been writing for nearly 35 years now, maybe longer.   I've been published in magazines, Fanzines and even newspapers.  Heck, I even helped to found a Creative Writing magazine back in the 80's which at it's peak had about 200+ subscribers.  When I write... I simply sit down and pour everything from the top of my head.  No outline, no notes, not a single jotted word. 

    Let that sink in for a moment.....

    All that I write... all those long articles with copious Bible Verses.... all of that.... comes off the top of my head, with no notes.

    That's just the way I write.... and it works.

    So last night I poured out my heart on how exclusionary some people tend to be.... in bad ways.... and lost it all before I could hit "save".

    For me... that means starting the whole thing again from scratch... if I dare write it again at all.

    Anger is a sin.  It generally leads to other sins such as wrath, revenge, hatred.... even murder.

    Being Angry, though, can be constructive if channeled and challenged to produce something positive.  Jesus got Angry over the Temple becoming a market place.  He did something about it.

    So tonight I am merely here to say --- I'm cooling off for a day or two.  Hope to be back soon.

    And maybe, Lord willing, I'll be able to reconstruct the post I'd already once written.

    Lord Willing.

    Which leads to a parting thought.

    God is sovereign.  I trust that.  Everything happens with reason.

    So maybe I said something that wasn't truthful in my post last night that He didn't want me to say? 

    Is that one way to look at this?  Dare that infer that I ought not try again?

    Spill your thoughts on this one.... what do you think?